#67: The courage to swim.
This morning I woke up having a dream about the ocean. My first waking thoughts were sorting out an analogy in my head that compared swimming in the ocean to how one can go about life. Let me explain…
The ocean is vast, beautiful, mysterious, and cannot be fully known. When you find the courage to swim in the ocean things usually go one of two ways: (1) you let the water take the lead and guide you with the current, or (2) you swim, splash, and play until you look up and realize the ocean’s current has moved you to a place far from where you started but you catch yourself, readjust, and swim back to where you want to be. No matter what route you choose, things are never stagnant and the waves keep moving, much like the chaos of life.
Said another way, if I’ve learned anything in my thirty-one years of life it is that a happy and fulfilled life is all about finding balance. Sometimes we let things happen to us and let life carry us along its current, and sometimes we take a step back when things are feeling off-balance to evaluate where we are and make the necessary changes to get back to where we want to be.
Continuing with the ocean analogy, none of us can predict the future with 100% accuracy – much like the vast depths of the ocean are still unknown and have yet to be explored. When we are met with feelings of uncertainty we must choose to dive in and swim, or let ourselves succumb to the current.
All of this is to say that I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to live a full, happy, and balanced life amidst a society that idolizes capitalism, material success, constant busyness, and climbing the corporate ladder. Since my late twenties, I’ve struggled to come up with an answer for where I see myself in one year, five years, or even ten years. It’s like my brain just fades to black when I try to imagine specific scenarios for myself in the future. As an American millennial, I think I’ve always been conditioned to want to strive for the standard milestones of graduating high school, graduating college, getting a corporate job, getting married, buying a house, starting a family, achieving frequent promotions at work, etc. Work, school, and visible markers of “success” were always at the forefront. How do you come to realize the difference between what you are supposed to want and what you honestly feel defines a successful life?
I don’t have the answers but I’m trying to live my life with a sense of openness and curiosity guided by how I prioritize my time, who I choose to spend my time with, and how I define my values. Lately, I’ve been feeling like life is moving at a speed I can’t keep up with, similar to that feeling of getting pulled under by a riptide in the ocean. If anything, it’s a welcome reminder of the finite amount of time I have on earth and if I’m spending it the way that I want. The research and ideas from books like The Good Enough Job: Reclaiming Life from Work by Simone Stolzoff, Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood by Satya Doyle Byock, and Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman are all helping. So is deliberating taking time to play and find flow, spending time with the people that give me energy, and trying to dial into what I value most and how to get more of all of those things into my everyday life.
I also keep relaying a mantra to myself that my therapist shared with me a while ago that I’ve shared in the newsletter before:
“Remember that you have a bright future ahead of you even if you can’t envision exactly what it looks like right now.”
Until next time, friends. See you on the internet ✨
With love,
Things Worth Sharing This Month
It’s been a MINUTE since my last newsletter and I have a crap ton of recs, so instead of writing out detailed descriptions like normal, I’ve condensed them into categories with links and quick notes!
LOCAL CULTURE & EVENTS RECS
👻 Irvington Ghost Tour and Cottage Home Block Party – two amazing local Halloween events that I cannot wait to check out again in the future.
📜 Through 2 Eyes Walk and Talks – amazing local history tours all over Indianapolis led by Sampson Levingson.
🎨 I’m currently enrolled in an Intuitive Painting class at the Indianapolis Art Center and on the hunt for future pop-up events at Alley Cat Ceramics and Yellow Door Ceramics.
📓 I recently heard about these women-centered writing workshops in Indy. I haven’t had a chance to attend one yet but hope to soon!
PODCAST RECS
🗞️ Today: Explained – so many episodes have been helping me stay updated on current events as well as interesting cultural trends. Some highlights include their multiple recent episodes on the conflict in Gaza, “China’s Young and Restless,” “America’s Most Successful Downtown?,” the multi-part series called “Blame Capitalism,” and “Driver’s License to Kill.”
👤 Sweet Bobby – a long-form podcast about a weird scam; still thinking about this one month later.
🎙️ Magnificent Jerk – a long-form podcast about a reporter uncovering secrets about her uncle’s past.
🩺 The Girlfriends – a long-form podcast about a group of women coming together after discovering their connections to a plastic surgeon with a mysterious past; the most true crime-esque podcast from this list. Started it today while deep cleaning and it had me hooked.
👮 Stolen Hearts – a long-form podcast about a policewoman who unknowingly falls in love with a bank robber; well-produced and British but kind of falls short at the end.
💼 Work Appropriate – I’ve loved Anne Helen Petersen for a while so I’m shocked I just discovered her podcast. This episode with Josh Gondelman is great.
MUSIC RECS
NEW ALBUMS:
💜 Olivia Rodrigo’s GUTS
🩷 Renee Rapp’s Everything to Everyone
💚 Troye Sivan’s Something To Give Each Other
🩵 Bad Bunny’s nadie sabe lo que va a pasar mañana
CUSTOM PLAYLISTS:
🔮 spooky season but make it chill (and moody)
MOVIE RECS
🐶 Puppy Love – it’s hard to call this a “good” movie but regardless I kind of loved it and honestly the two leads and cute dogs are enough reason to watch; free on Amazon Prime / Freeve with ads; this movie made me a Grant Gustin stan.
🏕️ Happiness for Beginners – this was a sweet movie but has a few plot holes; a divorcee decides to “find herself” on a hiking trip with a group of strangers but her younger brother’s best friend since childhood just happens to also be on the trip and in love with her for some reason?; free on Netflix; introduced me to Luke Grimes (actor and country singer).
💀 Sometimes I Think About Dying – this was a wonderfully strange indie movie that explores themes of connection, depression, and romance in really inventive ways; I saw this at the Heartland International Film Festival last month, not sure when it will get a wider release.
BOOK RECS
⏳ The Good Enough Job – I referenced this in the opening essay but it deserves another callout. I enjoyed this book and immediately went out and bought a few extra copies to gift to a handful of friends who, like me, tend to give 110% always to their jobs. I loved the format of this book; it uses storytelling and data to relay simple yet powerful insights about finding a balance between our work and non-work lives. This book pulls wisdom and quotes from a lot of folks that I already love — like Anne Helen Petersen — and does a great job talking about value-setting, building a life you’re proud of, and deprioritizing your job as the sole way to bring life fulfillment. Highly recommend and it’s super quick!
FOOD & BEV RECS
☕ Harney & Sons tea – I’m obsessed with their Victorian London Fog and Hot Cinnamon Spice blends right now. Both are perfect for fall and are best served with a splash of milk or half & half.
🍲 Soup recipes – I’ve become a soup fanatic and have been whipping up 1-2 soups or stews per week lately cycling through my Aunt Annie’s special chili, a modified version of this corn chowder recipe from HelloFresh, and hearty chicken and noodles.